#38: Little Girls Can Be Mean

Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps To Bully-Proof Girls in the Early Grades, by Michelle Anthony and Reyna Lindert (New York: St. Martin's Griffin, 2010).

Summary:
"In today's world, girls are facing myriad friendship issues, including bullying and cliques. As a parent, you are likely wondering how to guide your daughter through these situations effectively. Little Girls Can Be Mean is the first book to tackle the unique social struggles of elementary-aged girls, giving you the tools to help your child become stronger, happier, and better able to enjoy friendships and handle social cruelty.

"Michelle Anthony and Reyna Lindert's simple, four-step plan will help you become a problem-solving partner with your daughter. They also offer tips for educators and insights that girls can use to confront social difficulties in an empowered way. Whether your daughter is just starting kindergarten or is on her way to middle school, you'll learn how to:

• observe the social situation with new eyes
• connect with your child in a new way
• guide your child with simple, compassionate strategies
• support your daughter to act more independently to face the social issue.

"By focusing squarely on the issues and needs of girls in the years before adolescence, Little Girls Can Be Mean is the essential go-to guide for any parent, counselor, or educator of girls in grades K-6."

Table of Contents:

I. Laying the Foundation: The Four-Step Approach

1. The Rise of Social Cruelty

2. How Can I Help My Daughter or Student?

• What Is Bullying?
• Building the Foundation
• Facing Tough Situations
• Following the Four-Step Plan
• Step 1: Observe
• Step 2: Connect
• Step 3: Guide
• Step 4: Support to Act
• Integrating the Four Steps
• How Long Will This All Take?

3. Think, Share, Do ... Activity Bank for Part I

II. The Heart of the Matter: Applying the Four Steps to Real Situations Faced by Real Girls

4. Side by Side: Best Friends, Worst Enemies

• Dealing with a Turf War
• When Best Friends Pull Away
• Yo-Yo Friendships

5. Going Along with the Gang

• When Girls Struggle to Fit In
• When Girls Struggle with Feeling "Different"
• When Girls Struggle with Going Along with the Group
• When the Group Turns Against Your Child

6. All Girls Can Be Mean: When Your Daughter Is Acting Like a Mean Girl

• There Are Two Sides to Every Story
• The Power Rush of Popularity
• When Girls Struggle with Following the Group

7. Think, Share, Do ... Activity Bank for Part II

III. Wrapping Up: Using the Four Steps in Your Home, School, or Office

• The Difference Between "Younger" and "Older" Girls
• Facing All Kinds of Issues, Together
• She Is Not Alone

My Take:
Meh. Is my guilty love of self-help manuals finally drawing to a close? I guess this one's a useful reminder, or introduction to the principles involved if you're not familiar with the subject, but there didn't seem to be a lot of meat (or non-animal protein, for my vegetarian friends) here. In brief, pay attention to what's going on with your kid even before she explicitly tells you about it; use active listening to draw out both the facts and her feelings; and help her brainstorm about what to do without going all Mama Bear and taking over. Next.